Its Nutcracker time Once Again: 12/7/11

Rehearsal at the Waverly in Woodstock Illinois Photo by Dan Swinson ©2011

Claire, photo Dan Swinson ©2011

I am trying so hard to savor each moment of my 2011 Nutcracker Experience.  It will be a bitter sweet one I'm afraid.  Colin and Claire have one more year before they move on.  They will go separate ways.  My twins will begin to have their own lives, apart.  I don't want to dwell on that.  It is hard enough knowing they will soon be seniors.  I want so much for each of them.  I want their dreams to be fulfilled.  I want them to be the best they can be and I hope they will always stay in touch. I hope they will want to come home on the holidays or that I and their Dad can go to them on the holidays.  I hope.....

So how is this years Nutty shaping up?   As I said, I am trying hard to savor each moment, smile with each trip I make to the Opera House because something was forgotten, rejoice when I have ballet shoes to sew, take the home Christmas decorating in stride even though I have Christmas this year, shrug when I spend umpteen dollars on carry out meals through rehearsals and performances, make no comments about how many small loads of dance apparel I have to wash each night for the next two weeks, revel in each performance that I have tickets for (I have five performances that I am seeing and 3 that I am ushering), be a proud Mom no matter what happens in each performance, be a kind Mom when first time Nutcracker parents are trying to figure out scheduling and the tricks of the trade (so to speak), and finally, soak up the compliments with humility from other parents and friends.  I want to remember everything.  I want to be a part of Colin's and Claire's triumphs.  I just hope I deserve all these precious moments because they will be over all too soon.  Merde my dear Colin and Claire. 

Love MOM

Summer Recap 8-15-11

4 AM  7-10-11, all ready to leave

I don't even know where to begin.  My summer has been one of hurry up and wait, stress, little art, and proud momma moments.  Busy = something had to give, sadly, it was my blog.  Having been away for 2 months, I was surprised to see this new lay out in Blogger.  It took 10 minutes to get reacquainted.  I can't decide if I like just yet.  Anyway, my emotions ran the gamut this summer and I often found it difficult to put anything down in words.  The blog got pushed aside.  After Swan Lake, it was all about getting Colin ready for his four week workshop with the American Ballet Theater.  I spent most of June making lists, buying supplies, emailing back and fourth to the program coordinator, etc...  Meanwhile both Colin and Claire were taking classes (a summer intensive) at their year round ballet school.  They also took drivers ed and so I was in the car on and off all day during June and the beginning of July.  My oldest was registering for our local college and that was an ordeal in itself.  And then, the magic day for Colin was here, July 10th, he and his father headed to Texas and the adventure was on.  Colin took classes at the ABT program in Austin Texas at University of Texas.  I really was not all that weepy when he left, it really hit me though later that evening when I did not hear him on his XBOX 360.  I looked forward each day to his phone call, his Facebook updates, his voice, his pictures.  I mad sure to send him a daily picture of his Mandy dog ( our female greyhound, he adores her) and made sure to send him a weekly snack package. Claire, on the other hand kept me busy with ballet classes, the gym, and the pool. My oldest, Kaitie, well its been a long hall with her.  After her huge car accident, we sought professional help and she was diagnosed with ADHD.  Talk about a whirl wind of doctor appointment.  I am still trying to get her meds dosage correct.  At the college, I set her up with special needs accommodations but that was no easy ordeal.  I started the process and July and I am still gathering paper work. At the end of July, Claire had her showcase performance.  This was the culmination of 6 weeks of work.  No photos, of course, but let me say, she was a bright star up there on stage.  Her smile, her presence, was the best I have seen it.  This summer she was accepted into the JSSB company course and because it is so rigorous, she improved her technique and learned some partnering skills.  Mrs. Svalander brought in guys specifically to work with the company dancers.  As one might suspect, guys are few and far between at the local ballet schools around us, well around most local ballet schools across the country, but Mrs Svalander managed to gather up enough young men to work with our girls.  What a perk.

Claire in Summer Show Case

On with the ABT.  I don't have many photos.  Colin, being Colin, took none.  There will be some shots though, by a professional photographer, however they are not posted yet.  On August 4th, my husband and I went down to Texas to pick him up and see his final performance.  The ABT accomplished much with these extremely talented young dancers.  To get a show ready in just four weeks.....  Colin grew so much during this time in Austin.  Not so much physically ( his height is the same), as emotionally.  He had the opportunity to dance with other male dancers that were as talented (and then some) as Colin.  To me, that was huge.  When I saw the guys on stage together, it made me so proud that Colin was a part of it all and he danced so beautifully.  I cried of course. I have to hand it to the ABT program.  For Colin it was so worth it. Even though he had a full tuition scholarship, Marc and I still had to cough up room and board and food.  Not to mention the air flights and transportation costs associated with getting around Austin...  What the heck though, this is Colin's dream.  This is a company Colin would die for (to get into it).  So we roll with the punches...  I think that Colin has made some life long friends.  WIth social media, he won't loose touch.  

My version of a Day of the Dead Skull

Meanwhile, we are preparing for the next show...No, not nutcracker, although auditions are coming up very soon.  Mrs. Svalander was invited to stage a new ballet about Frida Khalo.  This is for/in celebration of Hispanic Heritage month (October).  The performance is October 1st.  Yours truly is helping out with the props.  And that is where is where I am as far as my art.  I had all these great plans for finishing actually collages.  Where the heck has the time gone?  And the sad thing is that I knew this would happen..it does every year, every extended break (Christmas, Spring break).... I just can't seem to budget my time at all anymore.  I did manage to get an application in for the Raue Center galleries this coming year but that is about ll.  So as September fast approaches, I have a list a mile long that are "must get done" now items.  Sigh......


K
P.S.  I have a new internet friend that I just had to mention.  Her name is Susie and not only is she a marvelous mixed media artist but she totally relates to all my blurbs about my ballet mom life because she too is a ballet mom.  It hink that is so cool.  The internet brings so many people together.  Susie, thanks again for your email.  Here is Susie's blog link...  http://mylifeonebitatatime.blogspot.com/

Swan Lake

Swan Lake 2010:  Photo by Dan Swinson

This photo is from last years production of one of the most beloved ballets, Swan Lake.  And this is what I have been up to all this week.  Tonight begins the marathon weekend of performances.  Coin and Claire are totally pumped and you can feel the adrenaline in the air.  So as alluded earlier, this week has been about getting the kids to and from rehearsals and waiting...  I am too involved with the excitement of it all so I have not been able to concentrate on much else.  I wonder if other parents of children who dance or perform on stage feel the same way as I do.  I can't buy tickets for just one show, I have to buy tickets for 4 shows.  I have long ago come to the conclusion that Colin and Claire will be 18 all too soon so I am going to enjoy every minute as a ballet Mom and a very proud one at that.  The house work will always be there, so will my art, so will the wash!!!  But my children have always come first no matter what the cost.  We've sacrificed a lot through the years so they could have the best training available and it is paying off in a big way.  Colin has chosen dance as his career path and will be studying at a summer intensive with the American Ballet Theater in July, Claire wants to go to college to pursue her dancing.  I'm smiling ear to ear.  So as I sit here and type this, I am eagerly awaiting the first performance tonight.  As soon as Mr. Swinson has some photos available I will post them.  He is a fantabulous photographer and has a knack for capturing dancers in their finest moments.  


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Transformation Nearing Completion and thoughts on Motherhood.

Its been a hell of a day.  As I sit hear, in tears, I can't decide i I am feeling sorry for myself, filled to the brim with frustration, or grateful for all in my life. I've been reading, almost religiously, Kelly Rae Roberts blog for several years now.  She became a mother for the first time about 7 months ago.  Her posts, naturally, are filled with the wonders of motherhood and also the the real fears that come along with being a new mom.  As a Mom, I have relived, through her words, all my children's births, their firsts milestones, their first day of school....And yet, I say to you Kelly, nothing can prepare you for when you have to start letting go.  My Claire, at 16, was diagnosed with Mono.  While of course its not the end of the world, it feels like the end of her world to her.  Swan Lake is everything to her and with performances next weekend, we are hoping and praying she can perform.  The real back breaker though, was this afternoon.  My 18 year old was in a car accident, her fault, that pretty much totaled her new car. As I raced to the scene, nothing could prepare me for the look on her face nor the flood of relief when I saw that she was not injured.  I wanted to strangle her but instead I grabbed her and held her tight as we both sobbed together.  So much went through my mind.  Every little giggle or smile or coo she made as an infant, her struggles all through school, her triumphant high school graduation, her happiness when we put a down payment on a new Honda Fit (which by the way has a high safety rating and I believe in any other small car the outcome may have been different) only 2 months ago, her first car accident last month.....  Kelly Rae enjoy those precious moments.......  So now on top of illness we all have this to deal with.  I know I could have lost her, I know I have so much to be thankful for, I know...I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself.  And I'm feeling scared.  How do I let her get back into this car?  I have worried every time she goes off on her own and it seems my fears were justified.  I always said if I could just get them through high school...  Sigh, tomorrow is another day and I'll spend it one the phone but I'll survive.

After the accident happened and after dealing with the insurance company, I headed to my sanctuary.  Here is where I am at on this mixed media collage.  It is nearly done.  Not only is it a work of love, it saved me tonight from a total melt down.  The photo is from the iPhone 3Gs which isn't the best quality but I'm saving the scanner bed for the finished work. I'm probably going to do another glaze over the entire piece and add some sparkle on the dress to emphasize the magic of the moment. Her bodice is adorned with gems. The dress is 3-D because I used white tissue paper. So I am pleased where this piece led me.  I totally worked intuitively having only a picture from a magazine of a dancer that I sketched.  The rest just sort of happened.  The background though, really set the mood and after the sketch, it just happened.  There is a good chance that I will finish it tomorrow.  Then I want to seal it, wire it and scan it (not necessarily in that order).  I can't wait to give it to my twins ballet teacher.  That will make my day, my week, my year.
k

Two weeks into the New Year....

And I feel like it is April already.  How much stuff can you jam into 2 weeks?????  Hitting the ground running for me means that it is audition time for major ballet companies summer intensive programs.  There are photos that needed to be taken , registrations that needed to be filled out, spreadsheets made, and finally, the auditions themselves.  Colin and Claire are both auditioning.  This is their first time doing this so it is all about getting comfortable in front of teachers/judges.  The weekends will be long around here for several weeks now. 



Claire in an arabesque on pointe



My quail for daily drawing practice.



In addition, on January 1oth, I started an on-line course with one of my favorite mixed media artists, Misty Mawn.  I have dreamed about taking one of her workshops but for several years, places like Portland, Italy,  Valley Ridge, Wisconsin etc...have been out of the question.  But on-line is a different story :)))) In week one we are drawing everyday and have "homework" every day.  It will be an intense 5 weeks but that's just fine with me.  I really need to push myself and this is one good way to do it.  More on Misty's class later.

I am also gearing up for my first class of the new year at the Studio.  Our group will be doing an abstract winterscape.  Fun.  I am going through the altering paper process very slowly.  And I wish I could say I would have a sample ready for the class but not sure that is possible.  I need to add pictures soon of January's paper packets as well.  I guess I might as well be resigned to no sleep :)



Day 2, quails.



"The Big News" 7-21-10

Thanks to a good friend, I have have the confirmation I needed to be able to share our family news.  I know this sounds a bit strange but I really did not want to post unless I knew this was a sure deal.  About two weeks ago, both Colin and Claire auditioned for a short movie/documentary.  The theme is dance, of course, and to be honest with you all, I am not sure exactly what it is about.  I think, mind you I am reading between the lines, this has something to do with the history of  the Stone- Camryn dance school/company that was based in Chicago in the (1941-1981).  There is a fictional element with it as well as non fictional.  Mrs. Svalander, the owner and director of the Judith Svalander School of Ballet (where my kids dance) use to dance at that school and knew the choreographer who also danced there.  And that is about all the details.  Via email last night, I obtained the rehearsal schedule (intense for three days).  The filming schedule will be coming forthwith.  So I will take them into Chicago and basically stay there waiting for up to 8 hours each day.  We have to work out transportation details because parking is non existent in the city.  The filming will take place in Evanston, which is doable in a car but it is a good 1.5 hour drive.  Parking is better in Evanston. I am excited for both of them for the obvious implications (you know, being discovered by ballet company directors etc..).  The film is supposed to be sold and might go the route of film festivals.  And there you have it.  More details will follow I am sure. 

On top of my getting back to working on the computer, this should prove interesting.  I  will have a very hectic and busy next two weeks.  Today we are going with the dance school to see Billy Elliot!  Yea.  My kids are so stoked!  So even thought a was dealt a basket of lemons these past weeks, there was a cool glass of lemonade waiting for me with this news. 

k

Day 11: 28 Day Challenge

No pictures for today...  I spent most of the day running my teens around.  It was prom dress shopping with m y 17 year old first.  We found the dress, shoes, and a garter.  Oh and I forgot, the "perfect" earrings too.  Then if was off to the movies to see "Clash of the Titans" which was OK.   I love Greek mythology but somehow the special effects in this movie were not up to today's standards, rather shoddy actually.  Then I had to take my 17 year old and my son (almost 15) to dress rehearsal for the passion play at our church.  I attended.  The affair started at 5:30 PM and I just now got home (:35 PM).  My kids and another wonderful young lady performed interpretive dance to "The Passion of the Christ."  Very moving and draining....

OK so what was creative for me today...well I did start to pull together the art data out of my database to make tags up for my show.  And I coated some images for transfers with polymer medium.  After several coats they will be ready to transfer onto the current work in progress "Air."  And that was it for today.  Sometimes I wish there were 30 hours to the day without the need for sleep!  Right now I am pretty drained emotionally.  The passion always does that to me.

k

Day 9: 28 Day Challenge

Well this is day 3 of spring break and I had the great honor of watching my son, Colin perform at a local library for a mess load of kids and their parents.  He rocked of course and so did all the other young performers.  I am so proud of them all.  So I need to rant before I get to my creative time...  My husband, Claire (Colin's twin and also a great dancer), and myself were sitting right in back of a bunch of young boys (and girls).  They were all of 4, maybe 5 years old.  Everyone seemed to be interested in the performances.  But here is what really gets me or gets to me.  So the young instructor who was the MC and director of this event,  had all the children stand to teach them a few ballet moves.  Nothing complicated or especially hard.  She wanted to show them that a simple jump in the air is really quite complicated if you are a ballet dancer.  She asked these young boys to join in but they turned their noses up and said, and I quote, "Dance is for girls."  How could such young children already be so jaded.  These boys had seen Colin dance, lifting the girls, doing big jumps, and they insisted on sitting out.  What was so sad was that one little boy really wanted to dance but the peer pressure was too much.  When the instructor came to the part where she taught them a little dance to the tune of "Take me out to the Ball Game,"  this one little boy turned to the other boys and said, "Well this is sort of boy like."  I can't believe what I heard.   Where the heck did they get these ideas?  My guess is that it can only be from adults.  Surely they did not exit the womb believing dance was for girls?  Oh that so makes my blood boil.   No wonder there are so few boys taking part in dance.  Our ballet studio does these programs to promote the art of dance for everyone, entertain the community, and give our dancers an opportunity to strut their stuff.  I think we have got to target the fathers of these young children and maybe the mothers too...  What is wrong with you people?  Ok  enough of a rant, for now anyway......

I did make it to the studio at 9 PM.  Actually worked about 1.5 hours on my air element.  Will scan my progress in the morning.  Right now the glazes I put on are drying and I can't scan the work until dried.  What is ticking me off is that some of the papers are buckling from all the moisture but I think I can fix it manana.  Here is to my friend Linda who started me on this challenge.  At least I am making some progress...
k

I think that I am fully recovered from long hours of driving, waiting, standing around, more waiting, more driving...you get the idea. The performance of this full length ballet was just totally awesome. And not just because all three of my children were in it. I know because a ballet mom had a friend attend the performance on Saturday the 16th. This friend is a retired performer for the Joffrey ballet. She said it was wonderful, very well done, even the costumes were awesome. If you want to see some of the dancers,sets, and costumes...I am going to send you to a photographers website. Dan Swinson took so many wonderful candid shots of these young performers. Just browse through some of the galleries on Coppelia 2009 and be prepared to see some gorgeous shots: http://www.danswinson.com/Photography/785269. And now I will leave you with a little video I took of my son and his partner dancing a scene from the Judith Svalander School of Ballets production of Coppelia (2009). For this kissy doll number he and his partner performed this at a local grade school for an international day celebration. The second clip, in this post, is of my son demonstrating some basic ballet moves to impress the boys in the audience. Enjoy These posts will take you to my photobucket account. For some reason I could not embed them!
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