Who was I kidding? Did I really think that I would be able to get into the studio this past week? At least I had a little time on Sunday to reflect on what being a mother means to me but even those few precious moments were very fuzzy due to a nasty cold that I caught this past Thursday. I did a lot of running around for my 18 year old this past week. This was her senior prom. She worked last week, most nights and so details were left to me. There was a big part of me that loved doing these things for her, you know, ordering the boutonniere, running down hair accessories for the new do, digging out the her camera and making sure it was charged, finding that perfect clutch bag (which she hated and did not take), washing her intimates, and the list went on... And then there was a small part of me that totally hated doing all this stuff. Maybe it is because it was her last prom, maybe it was because I am finally realizing she is a young woman, or maybe it was because I never want this part of her life to end. I am so dreading her leaving... This is where my mothers day reflection came in. In the fall, Kaitie will be going to our local community college. I know she will still be living here at home but between school and her job, I will see her little. She is making decisions on her own now, driving her own car, making her own appointments for hair, dentist etc, and has her own very active social life. Sign...so bittersweet. This high school time has just flown...just as I knew it would. I tried to grab hold of it, tried to treasure each week, month, year...but come May 19th, Kaitie will graduate. She is anxious to leave it all behind, to start a new chapter, to move on with her life. She is anxious to be her own person. I just hope that I made the right decisions for her during the past 18 years and that she had internalized at least some of the age old wisdom I tried to pass on. Being a mom to her was tough, very tough. But there was one thing that came very easy...loving her.
|Kaitie and her date|